Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Leader?
Leader. You either are one, or you’re a follower. Followers are those whom leaders utilize to further their own lives and successes, whilst leaders are born for greatness. You have to be in a position of power and a fantastic orator to be an effective leader.
What a bunch of bullllllshit! I’m sure there are a few of the above statements that you’ve either heard or thought of once in your life, and I’m here to tell you that leaders are neither exclusively born, nor in positions of power, oftentimes. They come from all walks of life and affect many from lower-level positions.
But how? Who are they? What makes them good at leading? How can I become one? Well, that good sirs and madams, is what we aim to clarify.
When one thinks of great leaders, images are conjured of great sports heroes like Michael Jordan, or prominent historical figures such as Mahatma Gandhi, George Washington, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, or even Adolf Hitler. But what makes them come to mind? Perhaps they were driven to be leaders and that was their ultimate goal in life, so they dedicated their lives to learning the skill. No. While there is an applicable skill to every aspect of life, far fewer people wake up each day and say “I’m gonna be a leader!”
Even so, some wish to be known as the best, lead, and gain popularity amongst the masses. These people are generally so hell-bent on their self-interest that they make poor leaders in the end. So then perhaps their charm and charisma to win the hearts of those closest to them? Closer. It’s an aspect of leadership that assists in rallying, but it’s not the end-all, be-all. It’s something that assists rather than monopolizes.
Think back to someone, in any situation, that you would have either followed or did follow. Why would you? Why did you? I’d bet good money that a good number of “leaders” in your life were not heads of companies, department leads, celebrities, etc. They were more likely a teammate, a family member, a coach, a teacher, or a close friend. While some of those happen to be in “positions of power”, they are not the President of the United States or war hero who led you through the trenches to safety.
Leaders are a culmination of many things, but generally are those we trust and make us feel a certain way. There is nothing more powerful than the ability to change a belief in someone by simply appealing to their emotions. I don’t mean this in a negative and manipulative way (Adolf), but in a way that gets us to make changes in ourselves based on what we see, feel, or value.
Think of it this way, everyone working a 9-5 office job has at least one coworker who is not in a leadership position, that we look up to, or at the very least respect enough to stand behind when the going gets tough. In many instances, that person didn’t ask to be followed or respected, they happen to have earned it through actively listening, helping where needed, taking action when others wouldn’t, and consistently demonstrating a higher standard. It was never forced upon him/her nor do they have an agenda of their own to push something upon you. They display true empathy, and that’s a powerful thing.
As another example, let’s consider what made Abraham Lincoln so successful as a leader in a time when the country was at war with itself and half the country wanted him dead. How did this guy, who failed miserably for 30 years at business and was constantly defeated for congress, senate, and vice-presidential nominations, end up becoming the 16th POTUS and heavily argued as the most favorable president to this date? He was unselfish, unrelenting, and listened and cared. He could make a speech that was short on words and directed at the masses seem as though directed at you, and you alone.
Abraham Lincoln, even as the president, even sick, was known not to be behind a desk making executive orders, but in the fields, with his people (the American people). This was a leader. There was no hunger for power, or a concession of duty, or a reason to decide the fate of any one person from an office. Leaders lead by action and by understanding those they lead. Moreso, WHY they lead.
People are not dumb, and if you happen to “lead” by way of force or through selfish reasons, they will know, and they will eventually rebel or see through the facade. How many times have we been in a job we thought was great, only to decide shortly after that we hate our lives and wish for it to morbidly (jokingly) end so we didn’t have to do that job any longer? What is the reason nearly everyone quits or finds displeasure in these jobs? That’s right, management. Poor leaders.
These days we are quick to separate leaders from managers. They are not mutually exclusive. As a manager, you should be a leader, and leaders should be managers. That isn’t to say, as in the example of your coworker above, that those who are not managers cannot be leaders, but I would certainly hope that the managers are at least so. I don’t intend to go into a long-drawn-out discourse on why managers tend to not be the best leaders, but we can all at least agree that it’s an issue.
As with all my writings, I wish to tie this directly into elite athletics and coaching. If you are an athlete or a coach, you can easily point out the leaders on your team (if a team sport), can you not? Half the time, those people are not the oldest in the group or even the best on the team. But they sure know how to command the respect of their troops and get the juices flowing. Effective leaders can take a group of disorderly and change the tide. Where once they were thinking as individuals, they now operate as a group.
So, sure, we know a few things about good leaders/managers, but what can you do to work on being a better leader? Is there anything to learn from those who happen to be great leaders themselves? Damn straight! Also, they don’t “happen” to be anything. Those who are successful aren’t “lucky” as people might think. Vince Lombardi once said, “Those at the top of the mountain didn’t fall there.” It’s like saying those who are billionaires just got the lucky straw in life. Don’t even fall trap to that kind of thinking. Besides the point.
Here are a few (many) things that we can garner from strong leaders:
They absolutely encourage failure, even celebrate it. They wish to learn what was done and what others learned in the process of making their mistakes. They don’t focus nearly as much time on the faults or weaknesses of an individual, but on the things that they are strong in and how to cultivate those strengths and position them well. They also understand that learning is a never-ending process for everyone.
On that note, they take ownership of their mistakes. They don’t feel the need to step out of harm’s way and place the blame on someone else. Easy as it might be to do, they understand it’s wrong and there’s always something to learn. People trust more in those who are human and make mistakes than those who seemingly never do.
They don’t always let numbers and data dictate their decisions. There’s something to be said about trusting your gut, especially an experienced gut. They can sometimes make quick decisions based on their feelings and trust those around them to trust theirs.
As in the story of Abraham Lincoln, leaders often are found in the thick of things. They spend a good amount of time with their people, asking questions, and understanding how things are done and what could make them better.
They network often and are able to bring talented people together for a common goal. They are also able to do so effectively because they are generally quite good at managing their time as well as their people.
While there are effective leaders who are a bit on the grumpy or emotionally stiff side, the most enduring leaders are not only optimistic and bright but are consistently so. Roller coaster rides can be exciting, but no one wants to ride them for 8 hours a day, 365 days a year. Talk about emotional whiplash.
True leaders are rule-breakers. When they see something that isn’t working, they bend the rules or make their own. This isn’t to say, go out and break the law, it means that instead of repeating the same crap over and over to the same result, they don’t grab a bigger hammer, they create a new tool and find a way to get ahead. If something is dead, let it die and move on.
They put decisions into action. If you’ve ever worked a corporate job and have sat in a meeting, you know how preposterously useless they are, but it’s still a time-held tradition of wasted effort. One of the “fun” things about those meetings is there is a lot of time spent making decisions, but ultimately those decisions fall into a full bucket of past decisions that likewise were never acted on. Making a decision is not action, it’s a false hope and something to check off a task list. So what’s actually getting done if they are away from the real action? Nada. Leaders put themselves in the action, take action, and then present their findings, and sometimes ask for forgiveness, after all, is said and done.
They enlist the help of the group. Allowing insight and feedback from anyone and everyone. They allow for an open dialogue even if it’s hard to hear. If you are afraid to hear what might be uncomfortable, you breed inaction and scarcely honest thoughts that could benefit yourself or those you lead.
They keep the attention of their crew. Today’s day and age, as pointed out in Phil Dourado’s book, is not the information age, as we believe. Rather it is the age of attention. People focus on what interests them, and I think that’s pretty apparent. It takes an average person to see how Youtube and advertising have changed in the last few years. You’ve got 6 seconds to win someone over and grab their focus. Know that in order to be interesting, you must first be interested. Know your people. How can you use what they do outside of work to influence how they get work done in an effective and engaging manner when they are working for you?
You know their story. Leaders have a story, a lot of times a good one. When you know their story and what it is that makes them tick, you tend to be captivated by them. You feel closer and more connected on a personal level, and show them respect for it. You don’t always have to agree with them or have suffered more than them, but you become more in tune with them. Think about how presidential elections are run. How many commercials and debates do you sit through, bombarded by the candidate’s story? There’s a reason campaigns are run the way they are. Either way, the story is powerful and doesn’t even have to be true, as long as it holds true to the person’s character.
They recognize and say “Thank you” to those who are found doing good. This alludes to something I talk about all the time with successful people. Brian Tracy would always say, “Successful people work as though they are being watched, even when they aren’t.” A good leader recognizes and commends them in their own way. You don’t have to incentivize either. Motivation by incentivization seems to cheapen the deed or weaken the ambition.
They are not afraid to ask for help or give it when needed. A good leader embraces failure and welcomes help. They understand that they cannot do it all by themselves and can leverage those around them who are better or free and willing to move something forward. This also brings them closer to their people and bonds them to the notion that they are real people. This can also include helping to teach or mentor those around them.
They don’t need things to be perfect at first. They only need to start and refine and refine until they can say they’ve just about got it nailed. Much like a successful business person, waiting until you think something is perfect is a good way to get left in the dust and for the world to move on to something entirely different. Tony Robbins always totes, “Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is only potential power. Action is power.” They don’t sit around collecting knowledge, they put it to use and as soon as they can.
Great leaders find a way to build up others as leaders. So much so that, if they were to leave for any reason, the team wouldn’t falter, but thrive. They realize there’s no need to swoop in and save the day for personal gain. There should be no reason for a team to be led by one. Teams should always be looking, not for followers, but for more great leaders.
Words that might describe a great leader:
Flexibility, humility, self-belief, encouraging, empathetic, understanding, attentive, informative, actionable, optimistic, involved, accountable, reliable, guide, pioneer, pacesetter, resilient, dependable, inspirational, caring, etc.
So coaches, athletes, department leads, managers, CEOs, Bingo night hosts...how can YOU be better leaders, trustees, and role models? Utilize some or all of the points above in any way you see fit. Take the time to really think about how you can start to comfortably apply them. Remember that you don’t have to do them all, and don’t do anything that seems forced or too much at any given time. That’s when things get messy, it becomes too hard and you quit, and people can perceptively tell something’s not right. Much like going on a date with someone who seems a bit off, you might not know why it is, but you have a 6th sense of things and it only makes you feel weird as well.
For my coaches out there, here’s an example of how you might start to utilize one of these methods. Be more active in your athletes’ lives. I know it can be hard at times with recruiting and practice and your own personal lives. If you work in a school office, have your athletes drop by every once in a while and sit them down and talk about their lives. Don’t be afraid to ask deeper questions if it’s genuine. These days, it’s okay to shoot them a text message out of the blue and ask them about practice or if they are feeling overburdened by life.
Take a walk in their shoes one day and go visit a place groups of them might frequent to see what it’s all about or listen to an artist on a bus trip they like. They are people as well, and sometimes they need to know you aren’t just a mythical hard-ass creature, but someone who shows some interest in who they are and what they enjoy. You might even be surprised just how interesting they truly are, or if anything, you’ll have more to talk to them about.
Photo: coach and athlete enjoying their time together [https://athletesinaction.org/]
While many of you likely do this already to some degree, how many of you send out simple short surveys throughout the year, or sit them down individually and ask them simple gauging questions, such as:
What do you like about going to school here (or working here)?
What don’t you like?
If you were the coach/boss, what would you change?
Simple, quick, and easy to fill out, but a wealth of useful information. Make it anonymous and encourage them to be brutally honest without any imminent reprimand.
If you take anything away from this, take with you the fact that there is no one thing in particular that makes a great leader. In fact, there is no special recipe or birthright to it either. Leaders are leaders and seen as such by those who choose to label them as such and ride along with them.
There is nothing to say that the teenage waitress from Nebraska, the middle school janitor, the new hire in accounting, the college freshman basketball player, or the veteran coach, can’t be an effective leader. In fact, they may be the best you’ve got. But if you want to be an even more effective one, try to instill some good habits like those above, and genuinely try and love what you do. That is where shit gets good :)
